The 4 Components of Strong Relationships: Why Meet in Person?

Building relationships requires much more than does, say, accumulating Facebook friends and Twitter followers. It requires organized, disciplined, and systematic contact management, which invovles, contrary to popular belief, more than social networking. While Skyping, IM'ing, and texting can all be useful communication tools, there is no substitute for meeting face to face.

To this end, we at VIPorbit Software wholeheartedly agree with René Shimada Siegel, columnist for Inc Magazine. In her article, "5 Reasons You Need to Meet in Person," Siegel highlights the following benefits of meeting in person:

1. You're off the record.
2. You can make use of not-so-small talk.
3. You can make an impression.
4. You can read the body language. 
5. You learn where the action is.

While these are indisputable benefits to meeting in person, VIPorbit CEO and relationship management expert Mike Muhney delves even deeper into what makes a relationship strong. In his book Who's in Your Orbit?, he and co-author Max Pucher list these four compenents of strong personal relationships:  time, trust, intensity, and reciprocity. Perhaps the most vital to any relationship by virtue of its definition is the reciprocal part. 

Motivating another person to respond to you, to invest in the relationship, requires an emotional connection on some level. Keep in mind that you are asking that person for some kind of attention, one of the scarcest resources in today's "attention economy." To be deemed worthy of another person's time and attention, you need to stand out from the background noise--from the stream of emails, tweets, and status updates. If possible, you need at least occasional face to face encounters.

So, what will make you stand out and motivate another person to respond? To reciprocate and give of their time and attention? Establishing a positive emotional connection. No, you can't control how other people feel about you. But you can determine the attitude and approach you bring to potential relationships. And those aspects of how you reach out to others can make all the difference.

Spending time, earning trust, matching intensity, and getting a reciprocal response are all facilitated by a variety of communication tools. Technology allows a deeper toolbox, such as Skype, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and text messaging, but none of these tools negate the need to meet face to face.